Publisher Fred Armstrong is one of those out-of-the-closet Star Wars geeks who can rattle off all the characters and recall episode “classics” as if this sci-fi schlock really mattered.
Because your scribe has slept through every Star Trek and Star Wars offering, I resist “Ewoking” over to his office to hear about “The Force” and “The Jedi Council,” stormtroopers, droids or the so lost GPS-less space crew that makes TransLink look efficient.
And negotiating my “kling-on” pay with Fred in Star Wars lingo – So-Solo(w) – hasn’t helped my Take-Home Empire strike back.
Please don’t tell him I think his space opera obsession is a tad whacked – he still signs my cheques. If he insists Chewbacca is one misunderstood beast, or that Darth Vader is getting a little Wookie on the side from Princess Leia, so be it.
We get along fine otherwise and he offers ideas – some good – like in today’s edition.
The proud father, who coincidentally has given plenty thought to keeping his son busy and out of trouble with school ending today, suggested a list of 101 Things To Do This Summer, some with the kids, some with adults and some, dare I say it, solo. Yodaman, boss!
Fred’s list included “great” Star Wars classics – methinks his son might have more fun getting into trouble, but I digress.
We took Fred’s ideas, polled the office and friends and we beamed up a zillion ideas. So, who better than to whittle that down to 101 than Cam Tucker, our young, hard working, talented (coffee-fetching) contributor who used his “end-list” energy to whip up this fun stuff for summer.
And speaking of lists, Canadians were recently asked to come up with suggestions for naming a potential Gas Tax Holiday and the most popular choice was St. Vaseline’s Day.
Other noteworthy suggestions included We’re All Fools Day, HollowGestureWeen and Tanksgiving.
A recent list of things that make you go “hmmmm” revealed that No. 1 on most people’s minds was: Why do psychics have to ask your name? Folks also wondered if nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan? And why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
There are countless facetious lists circulating on the Internet, including one featuring names of children’s books never published – i.e. How to Blackmail Older Siblings For Fun and Profit, Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends? and Potty Time For Dummies.
We are also inundated with lists of songs, books, the sexiest, richest, most powerful, most eligible and weirdest people.
Male-bashing lists are popular for some crazy reason. No. 1 on a recent poll was Grow your own dope, plant a man and All men are animals, some just make better pets. Runner-up was Honk if you want to see my finger!
But perhaps the ones we’re most familiar with are the grocery, laundry and things-to-do-at-home-before-you-even-dare-think-about-golfing lists that consume our busy, waking hours.
We hope you enjoy Cam’s collection. If you have ideas that you’d like to see incorporated in these pages over the summer, please let us know.
Or better yet, send us your lists! And may the force be with you (wink, wink).
No comments:
Post a Comment