It is a busy and confusing time here on the downsized news desk, where we are tasked to review books, byelections, budgets, beauties, beasts and unprecedented taxpayer byatching.
There are 84 days to go before the Olympics open and we still can’t name those freakin’ fuzzy mascots, or understand why professional hockey players and curlers are included but amateur women ski jumpers are not.
Manitoba’s Finance Minister Rosann Wowchuk said earlier this week that adopting the HST is wrong and not in the best interests of consumers or tapped taxpayers, yet the Winnipeg Chamber of Commerce is pressuring them to do it anyway. Did Bruce Beck and David D. Hull move to the Manitoba capital recently?
Don’t adjust your GPS device, but the B.C. Lions are only one playoff win away from appearing in the Grey Cup game as Eastern champions. That’s almost more confusing than receiving red mittens for an Olympics expected to bring Vancouver’s warmest winter weather in decades. Do you believe?
And Andre Agassi’s new book, Open, reveals the tennis ace hated his sport/job, dabbled in crystal meth, wore a hideous hairpiece and struggled with marriage and relationships. Hey, except for the tennis part, it sounds just like the guy who sold me my last car and he didn’t write a book!
Anyway, by request (thanks Mom), here is a HST-free My Two Bits brainteaser:
* The Mayan long count calendar suggests the world will end in 2012. Your first thought is to:
a.) Take full advantage of The Brick’s Don’t-pay-for-two-years sale.
b.) Delay that dreaded diet just a wee bit longer.
c.) Buy an AHL team with post-dated cheques.
* Sarah Palin is appearing on every U.S. talk show these days to plug her new book Going Rogue. The former Alaskan governor discloses that her former son-in-law-to-be, Levi Johnston, has decided to pose naked for Playgirl instead of babysit. Your first thought is:
a.) At least he’s getting paid to hang out in Alaska.
b.) He’s just like a politician now – an expert at switching positions in front of a camera.
c.) Hey, you might be a real redneck if. . . .
* The City of Richmond is kind of upset that TV comedian Stephen Colbert called them “syrup-sucking ice-holes” for denying U.S. speedskaters training time at the new Olympic oval. While the city claims Colbert is incorrect and may be using them for comic benefit and shock value, we think he should have said:
a.) I can’t believe people in Richmond would build houses along a runway then complain about airport noise. D’oh!
b.) Isn’t that the oval that should have been built near SFU instead of in muddy quicksand?
c.) Gotta love Richmond’s famous flower – mildew.
* Alan Jackson and George Canyon packed the Abbotsford Entertainment and Sports Centre last Friday with a splendid show, proving we have plenty yee-haw and ya-hoo types in this neck of the chopped-down woods. So, having said that, which country tune is among your favourites?:
a.) I gave her the ring and she gave me the finger.
b.) Thanks to the cathouse, I’m in the doghouse.
c.) I still miss you baby, but my aim’s getting better.
* Our police have been in the news for all kinds of reasons – good and bad – recently. Your favourite cop comment is:
a.) “Our police station toilet was stolen – so far we have nothing to go on.”
b.) “Not sure about official quotas, but two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”
c.) “You’re right, we don’t give tickets to pretty women – so please sign here ma’am!”
Have a great weekend gang!
No comments:
Post a Comment